The idea of becoming a surrogate is quite powerful and inspiring. It’s also a sign that you have a lot of love to give!
Many women are enthralled by the thought of having a baby for someone else. But can you be a surrogate if you’ve never given birth before? Sorry, but the answer is no.
Let’s explain why you can’t be a surrogate if you’ve never been pregnant.
Intended parents want the safest option
Intended Parents choosing the surrogacy route need to feel confident that they will have a baby at the end of it. In other words, they need to know that their surrogate can carry a pregnancy successfully to term and give birth to a healthy child.
Many surrogacy laws in the U.S enforce this policy, as does the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.
While you may be perfectly healthy and have no physical or medical reasons for not being able to carry a pregnancy, this is still not a guarantee you’ll be able to deliver a baby successfully. Having no history as a mother is like getting on a plane with a pilot who has never flown before!
If you’ve already given birth to a healthy child, you have proof that you can get pregnant and carry a pregnancy to term, which is one of the most important requirements to become a surrogate.
You know the emotions involved
When you have a child of your own, it’s a good sign that you’re committed to having and raising kids. You’ve been through the pregnancy experience, and you know what to expect. The fact that you’re willing to go through it again for someone else will assure them that you’re a kind, selfless person.
It’s also a sign that you understand the value of family. You know how incredible this gift will be for someone who can’t have children of their own.
And, as strange as it may sound, a surrogate who already has her own child is less likely to feel the need to keep the surrobaby she is carrying.
You understand the physical aspects of pregnancy
Pregnancy isn’t easy. On top of the physical changes, your body will be swamped with hormones. These hormones can make you feel exhausted, weepy, forgetful, and irritable – sometimes all at the same time!
You’ll also be aware of how your body is changing and its impact on your life. It will affect your fitness, sleep, social life, and how you interact with your family.
If you’ve been through pregnancy before, you’ll expect all of these things, but a first-time pregnancy can be quite overwhelming. The fact that you won’t be keeping the baby you’re carrying can compound these emotions ever further. And, if you’re finding things tough, the baby will, too. Stress can increase your chances of having a premature baby or a baby of low weight. Both of these factors can increase the baby’s risk for future health issues.
Intended parents want the best outcome for their baby
Every parent wants a healthy child, and your Intended Parents are no exception. They’ve chosen the surrogacy route because they can’t have a baby themselves, and they’ve invested a huge amount of their time, money, and hope into this journey. More than anything in the world, they want a healthy baby of their own.
If you’ve already had a healthy pregnancy of your own, there’s a better chance your surrogate pregnancy will be a healthy one, too. But if you’ve never had children, there’s just no way of knowing. Carrying a baby can come with many complications that you may not even know about until you’re pregnant – or even later.
Being a surrogate requires more than having a big heart
Yes, being a surrogate is a wonderful choice, but as you can see, having a baby for someone else takes a lot more than just goodwill. There are many requirements to becoming a surrogate, and having given birth before is a non-negotiable one.
Keep in mind that even if you can’t be a surrogate, you may still qualify to be an egg donor. Having a child isn’t a prerequisite for donating eggs, and it’s a beautiful way to help someone else start a family. The qualifications are a little different, so it’s a good idea to check out the requirements for becoming an egg donor first.
If you’d like to know more about what surrogacy and egg donation involves, get in touch! Our friendly team at FSC would love to share their own experiences with you.