Adoption and surrogacy are both wonderful ways to create or add to families—and we are not necessarily promoting one or the other or stating that either option is “better.” However, as a surrogacy agency, we feel it is our responsibility to provide you with some of the reasons people may choose surrogacy vs. adoption. We hope this information will help you determine the route that is best for you.
One of the major benefits to surrogacy, is that in most cases, at least one of the parents has the opportunity to be biologically related to their future child/ren. With Gestational Surrogacy, much of the time, the Intended Mother is using her own eggs and the Intended Father is using his sperm—thus, the baby/ies created are the genetic offspring of both parents. Even when, for example, an Egg Donor or a Sperm Donor is used, again, at least one of the parents will pass on his/her genetics to the child/ren conceived. Either way, even if both an Egg Donor and a Sperm Donor are used—or even with Traditional Surrogacy, in which the Surrogate is providing her own egg and is thus the “genetic mother” to the baby/ies she is carrying—the advantage to the Intended Parents (as opposed to adoption) is they at least can CHOOSE the genetic material they are passing along to their potential children. With adoption, there is no choice. This is not necessarily a bad thing—and again, we do not mean to come across as biased—this is simply a fact. For many Intended Parents, it is desirable to have a genetic link if at all possible, and surrogacy provides them with this opportunity.
Children conceived via surrogacy are done so with intent. Women who choose to become Surrogates are fertile—they have their own children and can have more if they so choose. They have made a conscious and well thought out decision to become Surrogates. They have endured doctor appointments, medications, poking and prodding, and probably some personal inconveniences because they want to help someone else achieve their family building dream. On the other hand, it is not all that unusual, in terms of adoption, for the birth mother to change her mind—even when she has already agreed to give up her baby to the adoptive parents. It’s perfectly understandable that a birth mother would change her mind, especially after giving birth, but again, we just want to point out the different perspectives.
Finally, if Intended Parents and their Surrogate choose to have a close (or “somewhat close”) relationship throughout the pregnancy—the Intended Parents have the opportunity to be completely involved in the pregnancy and birth experience. Of course, what matters most of all is the child not the pregnancy; however, for some women, especially those who have had their fertility taken away from them, or for some men, who truly are interested in “going through a pregnancy” from beginning to end, this is certainly an added bonus.
Again, we acknowledge that adoption is an absolutely beautiful way to create a family, and we are not trying to sway potential Intended Parents to make any decisions in regards to what feels right to them. There are certainly risks with all of the options, and pros and cons from many angles. However, we are just so grateful that we live in a world today where we have so many choices. Domestic adoption, international adoption, surrogacy, egg donation, sperm donation, embryo donation, embryo adoption—we are thankful that all of these alternatives exist. We at Family Source simply encourage you to explore all of your options to determine the one with which you are most comfortable.