“I had a great experience working with family source. I felt well-supported, and loved on throughout the journey. They quickly became like family. And the family I didn’t know I was missing in my life but so glad that I found throughout this experience”
Emily is a first-time gestational surrogate who delivered a baby boy for a family in February 2023!
Q: What led you to become a Surrogate?
I wanted to be a surrogate because my three boys are my whole world, and if I could play a part in helping another family feel what I feel with my family, then I wanted to do it. I look forward to the good, bad, happy, and sad times of being a mom, learning with my boys, and loving them through it. And I wanted to help another mom get to that space too.
Q. Who was the most significant support person throughout your journey?
My husband and kids were amazing throughout this journey. Being on a surrogate journey, we walked through some health issues, and my husband and kids were always there for me. That meant just for me to talk through things with, to get celebration ice cream with, or just to pray over me and the surrobaby. I couldn’t have done it without them.
My best friend Jenny was a huge support. She watched our kids when I really wanted my husband at the MFM appointments, she always allowed me to bounce ideas off with her, and she was praying for me and the baby the whole time.
My IPs were simply amazing and a huge support. Even if they couldn’t be at the appointments in person, they always wanted to be there in support through a phone call which was so nice because it didn’t feel like I was walking this unknown journey alone. They were always asking how I was doing and how the baby was doing.
Q. What made you decide to choose your Intended Parents?
My husband and I picked our intended parents because they were so encouraging from the start of our meeting. They were so kind and sweet. During our meeting video, our youngest was glued to me, and our intended parents went with the flow, and accepted our son into the meeting, knowing and understanding that sometimes parenthood doesn’t go as planned, and we just have to adjust. We also all wanted an open and honest communication channel and that was important to all of us to keep the baby safe throughout the whole journey
Q. What are some of the highlights of your journey?
Some of the highlights of this journey are being all together to find out the gender of the baby. The friendship that was made throughout the whole thing. And for me as well as my husband and both intended parents to be allowed in the operating room together to finally meet the baby!
Q. Do you have advice for women who are interested in becoming a gestational surrogate?
Come into the experience with and open mind, but as know that this journey will be different than all previous births. The journey may look and feel different but it is all completely worth it when you get to see the intended parents looking at their baby for the first time or holding their baby for the first time, every ounce of the journey will be worth it. Easiest one of the best decisions I ever made.
Q. How has becoming a surrogate impacted your life?
Being a surrogate is one of the most amazing things I have ever done. I know that my stories can help others decide to help IPs!
Q. What did you find was the biggest misconception people had about surrogacy?
When I first told friends and family that we were going to be a surrogate, most of them were still confused on what that meant. People many times asked me so it’s yours and your husbands baby that you are giving to another family like adoption. So explaining the difference between surrogacy and adoption
Q. What would you like other people to know about surrogacy?
You will have tons and tons of people that support you on this journey, you may have people that look at you like you are crazy for putting your body through all of this for someone else’s family. But in either case having those open and honest conversations are so helpful for everyone during the journey
Q. How has becoming a surrogate impacted your life?
It has shown me just how great life is doing it with others. It has reminded me how wonderful it feels being a mom even on the hardest days. It has shown me my passions in life and showed me just how stressful and impactful it can be to be a “high-risk pregnancy” — so much so that I am going back to school to be an ultrasound tech for high-risk pregnancy! I can be that support person to moms and families when they are high-risk and need that good image to be able to help the baby and mom stay safe for the rest of pregnancy.
Q. Was this pregnancy different than your other pregnancies? If so, how?
Yes, this pregnancy was way different than my own. I became “high-risk” at 20 weeks when my blood pressure spiked. So from that point on, I had weekly appointments and lab draws every week to make sure I wasn’t heading into preeclampsia. Being high-risk so early meant I had to have BPP at 32 weeks along with NST l. With this baby, I had so many extra appointments and extra eyes on me and baby at all times. The pregnancy ended in an urgent C-section at 34 weeks and 5 days because labs were unstable, and now into the preeclampsia stage. And to keep the baby and me safe, we had to deliver that early. With my kids, they were all 38.5 weeks to 39.5 weeks, so delivering a premie was a bit more emotional than I had planned.
Q. How did you prepare yourself for separating from the baby after birth?
I knew from the start it wasn’t my baby, but I could love the baby and know it wasn’t going to be coming home with me. I prayed for a strong, fighting baby daily. But I also reminded myself I can love my friends’ babies but know they aren’t mine, and that’s kind of how I viewed this. I can love this surro babe and love this baby for the intended parents but know that it was not going to come home with me
Q. What would you like someone who is considering working with a surrogate to know?
Not everything will go as planned, but in the end, it will all be worth it. Just breathe and try to enjoy the journey.
Learn more about becoming a surrogate by submitting a request for information, or start your surrogate application today!