Why I Became A Surrogate: Notes From The Inside

Talk to any group of women who have been pregnant, and you will get a huge range of responses. Some women love being pregnant. Some don’t. Some are just glad when it’s over. And then there are some who cannot wait to be pregnant all over again – even if it means having a baby for someone else.

At Family Source Consultants, every pregnancy is a celebration. Many of the FSC staff have had some personal experience of third-party reproduction – whether as an intended parent, an egg donor, or a gestational surrogate. Unsurprisingly, a surrogate is a kind of superhero – not just to the parents awaiting their new bundle of joy, but to all their family and friends.

And, of course, the whole team at FSC.

Surrogates Want to Give Back

Yes, a surrogate is a superhero – but many are also just ordinary moms with lives and families of their own; moms who want to give back to others

Denise Conner is the Surrogate Support Manager at FSC. She lives in Illinois with her husband and 10-year-old twin daughters, who were conceived with help from the fertility community.  Although her daughters completed her family, Denise says she yearned to experience pregnancy again. She also wanted to give back to the people who had helped her become a mom. Surrogacy was the perfect way to do that.

Rachael is the Director of Client Services at FSC. She and her husband live in North Carolina, with their daughter and a son.

Giving back has always been a big part of Rachael’s life. She was named Volunteer of the Year during her senior year of high school for her work in animal rescue and at a nursing home.

Having thoroughly enjoyed her own pregnancies, Rachael realized she could continue to help others by becoming a surrogate. Her own mom had had recurrent miscarriages before finally being blessed with twins (naturally), while another member of her family was unable to have children herself. She is now in her third journey as a surrogate and still loves every minute.

Rachael, FSC Case Manager

Of course, being a surrogate isn’t just about playing mom-to-be for ten months. It is a long, rocky ride that affects husbands, partners, children, and even friends.

So, how does a surrogate’s family cope with the situation?

Denise says she and her husband had no trouble at all with her decision. “Everyone we told was very supportive of it.  I just explained that I wanted to give back and this was the perfect way to do it.”

Rachel was also surrounded by encouraging friends and family… “I just explained what I was doing, how that happens, and that our family is complete, and we now want to help others,” she says.

Bumps in the Road Do Happen

Of course, not every surrogacy journey is perfect. Like any pregnancy, there can be hiccups: delays, failed transfers, or miscarriages. But these ‘bumps in the road’ are certainly outweighed by the positives.

All the FSC surrogates agree that the best part of the whole journey is seeing their Intended Parents finally holding the baby they waited so long for.

“It’s a pride and accomplishment that you really can’t explain until you experience it,” says Denise. “It’s pure joy. The next best thing to having my own children.”

Rachael agrees. “The look on the parents’ faces when he or she is here and in their arms is what makes it all worth it,” she says.

Advice from Former Surrogates to Potential Surrogates

What would they say to other women thinking about becoming surrogates?

“DO IT!” says Denise. “No one I have ever supported has ever said they regretted doing it, even if the journey didn’t go as planned. It is a feeling like no other.  It’s your opportunity to assist God in a miracle.”

“Surrogacy has been one of my most fulfilling experiences in helping others,” says Rachael. “I feel so blessed to have been able to do that. I also feel like I’m teaching my children in helping others.”

Get in Touch

Got some more questions? The team at Family Source Consultants would love to chat with you!