“Family Source Consultants is very hands on. There were so many people from the agency helping me along the way. I couldn’t imagine trying to do this without their help. It would have been so much more work than it was. I had a bumpy start because of the IVF doctor my Intended Parents used but Family Source was very supportive and helped us reach a compromise. I originally signed up with another agency to be a gestational surrogate but I switched to FSC because they were friendly to midwifery care, which is my passion. I look forward to doing another journey with them.”
Q: What led you to become a Surrogate?
I learned about surrogacy when I was a nanny several years ago. I actually read about it in a parent magazine that was at the house where I worked. I thought it was an amazing idea and time passed and I forgot all about it. Years passed and I had two children of my own. A friend of mine told me about a friend of hers who had recently donated eggs and it reminded me of my interest in surrogacy. I knew at that time that I was done having children of my own but I really enjoyed pregnancy and I was even more so excited to help someone(s) build their family.
Q. Who was/is your greatest support person/s throughout your journey?
My husband and my midwife.
Q. What made you decide to choose your Intended Parents?
I really wanted to help a gay couple. We had a lot in common and they weren’t opposed to me having midwifery care.
Q. What are some of the highlights of your journey?
Definitely meeting the Dads in person. I sent them a picture of my belly bump once a week when I started showing too. I was really surprised when we met in person how much more we actually had in common than what we had had a chance to talk about up until then. And of course, giving the baby to his Dads.
Q. Do you have advice for women who are interested in becoming a gestational surrogate?
Make a good match. If the match isn’t good and something goes wrong it will make things very difficult. Go over the contract thoroughly and have a great, supportive lawyer. Don’t let other people’s opinions about surrogacy bother you. Being a gestational surrogate is an honor. Also, the first trimester will be harder than it was with your own children. The drugs are rough.
Q. What did you find was the biggest misconception people had about surrogacy?
So many people assume that when you have someone else’s baby, you will regret not keeping it for yourself. That is so far from the truth I cannot even put it in words… Although it is obviously not the norm, it really is possible to deliver a baby and be happy that you are giving it to his or her own parents.
Q. What would you like other people to know about surrogacy?
The women who chose to be gestational surrogates are unique. We do not have an attachment to the babies. We usually bond more with the Intended Parents than we do the baby we are carrying. We like to think of it as extreme babysitting. This might sound cold but I don’t like to think of it that way. I just helped parents grow their baby.
Q. How was this pregnancy different from your other pregnancies?
The first trimester was a lot harder than my 2 pregnancies with my sons. The drugs that have to be taken to make your body think you are pregnant are intense. I sat on the couch for most of the first trimester and couldn’t eat anything. Once I was able to stop taking the drugs and we were in the clear, about 12 weeks, I started feeling much better. It was like a regular pregnancy after that. However, I had to be induced at the hospital at 41 weeks which had never happened with my own children.
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