“It was so nice to have that resource to run questions by, send issues to, and share the journey with. FSC was phenomenal to work with, and was always available, no matter how large or small my questions were! “
Q: What led you to become a Surrogate?
I had a very easy time conceiving and carrying my own children, while watching a number of friends struggle with their fertility. I began to explore the idea of carrying for someone who couldn’t, when I found myself pregnant with Baby #2 while so many were still struggling to conceive Baby #1. I started to share my desire with a few friends, which lead me to meeting a friend of a friend who had just learned she would never be able to carry her own child. Six months after meeting, we transferred in two embryos, one started to grow, and months later she and her husband got to meet their baby boy! While they were not yet ready to try for Baby #2, I was eager to begin another surrogacy journey. On the advice of former FSC surrogates, I reached out to the agency in April, 2018. Within a few weeks, we were moving forward with a wonderful match! After a few hurdles, we transferred in a single embryo and were thrilled when she started growing! Months later, I was thrilled to see Baby Girl meet her daddy!
Q. Who was/is your greatest support person/s throughout your journey?
My husband has been so incredibly supportive! He has been my meds administrator, cheerleader, first line of defense and patient through all the joys and struggles of pregnancy. But I am also incredibly blessed to know 3 other FSC surrogates – one literally right next door, and 2 more within 5 minutes of me. No one understands this journey quite like they do, and our friendship through these last few years has been priceless!
Q. What made you decide to choose your Intended Parents?
We matched so well in all the ways that mattered, and once we “met” through Skype, I knew it was the perfect match. Though there is an ocean between us, we all definitely feel like a big (weird, wonderful) family!
Q. What are some of the highlights of your journey?
Meeting Baby Girl’s dad the first time, when he came for the gender ultrasound at 20 weeks, and then getting to see him meet his little girl for the first time. Also, getting to see his mom become a grandma! She had only boys herself, so seeing her meet her granddaughter was amazing!
Q. Do you have advice for women who are interested in becoming a gestational surrogate?
The biggest struggle I had through the first journey was not taking the IP’s anxiety personally. Pregnancy has never been a struggle for me, so I didn’t initially understand the depth of their fear for their growing baby – no pregnancy had ended well for them to that point, and the level of control they give up to have someone else carry their baby must have been terrifying! Once I grasped that viewpoint, I stopped overanalyzing every question and every concern they had, and tried to meet them where they were!
Q. What did you find was the biggest misconception people had about surrogacy?
I’ve found that most people struggle with the idea that I’m giving a child up after delivery – when in fact I am giving a child back! So many people asked how I would handle growing a child that I couldn’t keep. But unlike adoption, I knew from the moment I decided to carry as a surrogate, that the baby would be reunited with it’s biological family as soon as he or she was born. Trying to explain that mindset was definitely a struggle!
Q. What did you do to prepare yourself for separating from the baby after it was born?
I went into it knowing it wasn’t my child. With my own children, I could tell you down to the day how pregnant I was…”Oh! I’m 23 weeks, 4 days along!” But with surrogacy, while I did everything I could to stay healthy and keep baby healthy, I otherwise didn’t give it a lot of thought in the early weeks. I’d have to really think to remember how far along I was! Of course, by the end, when Baby Girl was moving and kicking constantly, I was definitely aware she was there. But by then, I was so eager for her to meet her dad (and eager to get a good night’s sleep again!) that I found myself looking forward to delivery and sending her off to her family that I had no issues at all giving her back to her dad.
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