What are some things surrogates should think about before matching with intended parents? Being a surrogate isn’t just about meeting certain criteria. It’s also important that YOU know who you want to carry a child for. Surrogates should think about topics like location, communication styles, embryo transfers, personal beliefs, or whether they’d would be open to working with same-sex couples or a single individual. The clearer you are about your criteria, the easier it will be for your surrogacy agency to find the perfect match.

  • Consider whether you prefer your intended parents to live nearby or if you want an international match.
  • Think about how you will communicate and how often, especially if there is a language barrier or time zone difference.
  • Decide whether you are comfortable working with same-sex couples or a single parent.
  • Choose a stance on pregnancy decisions such as termination.
  • Decide whether you are open to transferring two embryos and understand the risks that come with it.

1. Does Location Matter?

Your Intended Parents can be almost anywhere in the world! At Family Source, we serve clients from all over Asia, Europe, Latin America, and South America.

Of course, location plays a huge part in your interaction with your IPs, so it’s important to consider whether you want your IPs to live nearby or if you’d be happy with a long-distance relationship.

If you live near each other, you’ll be able (and possibly expected) to meet regularly in person or have them attend your clinic appointments. If you choose long-distance or international intended parents, you may only be able to contact them via WhatsApp or Facebook or see them periodically on Zoom meetings.

You’ll also want to consider your relationship with the IPs after the birth. Are you hoping for regular updates after the birth, or will you be okay if the IPs decide to keep minimal contact? Each situation will be quite different in terms of keeping them updated regarding your progress.

2. What About the Language Barrier?

Communicating with your IPs is a big part of being a surrogate. Your IPs will be wanting to know what’s happening with their baby, how you’re feeling, and what appointments you’re going to.

FSC loves making dreams come true for international parents. If you’re okay with working through a language barrier, you’ll need to know how to use translation apps and communicate across different time zones.

In most cases, our surrogates find this a breeze! There are some great tools available now, such as WhatsApp and WeChat, and online translators like Google Translate and Deepl.

3. What About Same-Sex Couples or Single Parents?

For same-sex couples and single parents, surrogacy may be the only hope for starting a family. FSC is committed to equality for all individuals when it comes to starting a family, and about half of our Intended Parents are same-sex couples or gay parents.

Many surrogates choose to work with same-sex couples or single individuals because they recognize the difficulties these IPs have faced in their journey to becoming parents and want to help them achieve their dreams of having a family.

Would you be happy to carry a child for a gay couple? Or for a single man or woman? Or would you prefer an opposite-sex couple?

4. Are You Pro-Choice or Pro-Life?

Every pregnancy carries some element of risk, and there’s a risk that the baby you carry may have a medical condition that cannot be treated with medical science. In some cases, such a condition may affect the baby’s quality of life or even their ability to live at all.

As a surrogate, the decision to carry or terminate a pregnancy is up to you alone, so your values matter right from the start. Before you sign the contract with your IPs, everyone will discuss their thoughts regarding termination. Nobody can force you to make any decisions about your own body.

Consider how your personal beliefs would come into this situation. Would you be willing to comply with the IP’s wishes if a physician advised them to terminate the pregnancy?

5. Do You Want to Transfer One or Two Embryos?

It’s common for Intended Parents to hope their surrogate pregnancy might result in not one baby but two. This is why some parents ask if they can transfer two embryos during IVF treatment instead of just one. However, carrying multiples has far more risks, such as pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, and premature birth. Studies show that transferring one embryo per cycle is the safest option.

As a surrogate, you’ll need to consider whether you’ll be happy with the high chance of carrying multiples and the extra risks this can involve for your own health and the babies’.

For More Information

Yes, becoming a surrogate requires a lot of careful thought. But, as you’ll hear from other surrogates, it could be one of the most joyous experiences of your life. Have a chat with the team at Family Source to discover how you can become one of our surrogates!

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Staci Swiderski, CEO and owner of Family Source Consultants, has been a prominent leader in reproductive medicine for over two decades. Through her strategic vision and dedication, she has developed Family Source Consultants into a globally recognized agency specializing in comprehensive egg donation and gestational surrogacy services. Under Staci’s leadership, the agency has become a trusted partner for intended parents, surrogates, and egg donors worldwide, known for its rigorous standards, compassionate support, and commitment to excellence in third-party reproduction.

Her professional insight is uniquely informed by her own family-building experiences. As an intended parent, Staci welcomed her son via gestational surrogacy in 2005, and as a known egg donor, she assisted an infertile couple in expanding their family. These experiences lend a rare depth to her leadership and have fueled her ongoing dedication to ethical, empathetic, and professional support within the field of reproductive medicine.