Thinking about becoming a gestational surrogate, but not sure how to tell your family? Surrogacy is an incredible way to help someone start or expand their family. However, there are still many misconceptions about the process. With open communication, preparation, and including your partner and children along the way, you can help your family understand and support your decision.

  • Surrogacy is becoming more common and socially acceptable.
  • Having your partner’s support is crucial.
  • Using age-appropriate explanations with children is essential.
  • Open communication and support groups are helpful.
  • Family Source Consultants is here to guide you along the way.

Gestational Surrogacy and Your Partner

If you have a partner or a spouse, they might be the first person you’ll discuss your surrogacy decision with. Understandably, a partner may be worried about how the pregnancy will affect your health, the changes it might make to your relationship, and what sort of contact you’ll have with the intended parent(s).

The support of your partner is absolutely crucial for any surrogate, which is why professional surrogate agencies like Family Source Consultants make it a key area of focus.

Keep your Partner Included

Update your partner on everything that’s happening from the very beginning. Bring them along to your appointments and answer all their questions. Be as open with one another as possible; this will help your partner feel more confident.

Stay Positive

Everyone has a special reason for becoming a surrogate. Remind yourself and your partner of this reason whenever things get tough. Most importantly, focus on how the intended parent(s) will be looking forward to this child, and the incredible gift you’re giving them.

Join a Support Group Together

Even if you’re both handling things okay, it can be beneficial to join a support group with other surrogate mothers and their partners. Being with other people who are going through the same process will remind both of you, that you’re not alone. You might even make some great friends.

Explaining Surrogacy to Your Kids

All surrogates are moms themselves, which means you’ll probably need to find some way of explaining your pregnancy to your kids. This will of course depend on their age and maturity level.

TeamFSC Surrogate, Shannon, shares, “This journey with FSC will be one I’ll always remember. The Family Source team has been so helpful and encouraging through the whole process. My intended parents were the perfect fit and we have made a great connection. Plus my children think it is awesome their mommy is helping make another family.”

Here’s How to Make Things Easier to Understand:

Prepare Your Kids Ahead of Time

Introduce the concept gently with a children’s books about surrogacy. These books are designed to inform without overwhelming a young mind. Once they’ve got the hang of the idea, you can ask them what they’d think about their Mom being a surrogate.

Explain Why You’re Being a Surrogate

Older children may be somewhat sensitive about what other people will think. Help them understand how meaningful this journey is and why you decided to be a surrogate.

Young children, on the other hand, may find it a little confusing that mommy is having a baby but they aren’t getting a little brother or sister. A great way to explain this is to say that you know another mommy whose ‘tummy is broken’, and so her baby has to live in your tummy instead. You’re just keeping her baby safe so it grows big enough to go to its other home.

Be Fun and Open

Don’t pretend that everything is normal and that you don’t have a huge belly. Allow your kids to be curious about the situation.

  • Tell them about the baby’s family and share their photos.
  • Answer any questions they may have.
  • Be positive. The more excited you are, the easier it will be for children to accept and appreciate what’s happening.

Ready to Become a Surrogate?

Once everyone’s comfortable with the idea, it’s time to take action! Get in touch with a professional surrogacy agency like Family Source Consultants and have a chat about your options.

FSC will guide you through the entire process from start to finish. Many of the FSC team have been in the same position you’re in now, so they’ll be able to answer every little question you and your family might have.

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Staci Swiderski, CEO and owner of Family Source Consultants, has been a prominent leader in reproductive medicine for over two decades. Through her strategic vision and dedication, she has developed Family Source Consultants into a globally recognized agency specializing in comprehensive egg donation and gestational surrogacy services. Under Staci’s leadership, the agency has become a trusted partner for intended parents, surrogates, and egg donors worldwide, known for its rigorous standards, compassionate support, and commitment to excellence in third-party reproduction.

Her professional insight is uniquely informed by her own family-building experiences. As an intended parent, Staci welcomed her son via gestational surrogacy in 2005, and as a known egg donor, she assisted an infertile couple in expanding their family. These experiences lend a rare depth to her leadership and have fueled her ongoing dedication to ethical, empathetic, and professional support within the field of reproductive medicine.